Hay una sutil diferencia entre criar con apego y organizar toda la vida alrededor del bebé. La idea es que los niños se hagan parte de un mundo adulto que funciona independientemente de ellos, que se sientan seguros de que quien se encarga de ellos sabe lo que está haciendo.
Who's in Control? - by Jean Liedloff
"It appears that many parents of toddlers, in their anxiety to be neither negligent nor disrespectful, have gone overboard in what may seem to be the other direction. Like the thankless martyrs of the in-arms stage, they have become centered upon their children instead of being occupied by adult activities that the children can watch, follow, imitate, and assist in as is their natural tendency. In other words, because a toddler wants to learn what his people do, he expects to be able to center his attention on an adult who is centered on her own business. An adult who stops whatever she is doing and tries to ascertain what her child wants her to do is short-circuiting this expectation. Just as significantly, she appears to the tot not to know how to behave, to be lacking in confidence and, even more alarmingly, looking for guidance from him, a two or three year old who is relying on her to be calm, competent, and sure of herself. (...)
...when a child is impelled to try to control the behavior of an adult, it is not because the child wants to succeed, but because the child needs to be certain that the adult knows what he or she is doing. (...)
...children, far from being contrary, are by nature profoundly social. Expecting them to be so is what allows them to be so. As the parents' expectation of sociality in the child is perceived by the child, she or he meets that expectation; likewise, the parents' experience of sociality in the child reinforces their expectation of it."
